Friday, May 04, 2007

A Friday Miscellany

Well, I'm about to start a farewell tour of all my favorite blogs in anticipation of a week's absence. We leave for Cuba tomorrow, one whole week of just me and Pynchon ... and a whole wedding party full of people who seem to love drama. Wish me luck.

Of course, no matter how silly it gets:


It will still be more scenic and more relaxing than home. This pic is from our honeymoon in Jamaica. Pynchon has since taken a Photoshop course, but the drug dealers are still in the photo. Maybe Oh, the Joys can help ...
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Do you ever suspect you're turning into your mother? I always leave my packing to the day before or the day of a big trip, because I'm really efficient at it, and don't have so much stuff that I can pack it all a week in advance and not feel the absence of shoes or pants. This trip, however, I've been unable to enjoy even contemplating while shorts and sunscreen remained un-nestled in separate plastic bags inside a large black roller suitcase. As I tucked the last bathing suit into my bag this afternoon, I said to Pynchon: "Now I'm ready to enjoy myself."

And that is when I turned into my mother.

In my defense, I'm in charge of logistics always, while Pynchon is in charge of lifting the heavy things. The cognitive burden is a little higher in my case, soothed only by alcohol rather than the simple Advil required to diminish the aches of his work. And I'm packing for Miss Baby as well. She has, by far, the most luggage of the three of us, and she's only going to my sister's house for the week.

Still, I have found myself not wanting to think about the trip because I've seen it as a logistical summit to be climbed, rather than a pleasurable experience in the near future. This is what makes me my mother. Gulp.
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Miss Baby was at daycare between 8:30 and 2:30 today. By herself. It was the first time Pynchon and I had been alone in the house together since she was born, nearly 11 months ago.

We packed. Then we read the newspaper. How thoroughly she's housebroken us!
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Miss Baby was at daycare between 8:30 and 2:30 today. By herself. She was fine. The daycare workers later told Pynchon they were afraid he was going to hover forever. So now he feels chastened for being overprotective and too-attached.

At roughly the same time, at my office, the secretary was telling me how proud she was that we were able to leave Miss Baby for a whole week in pursuit of marital hedonism and unlimited alcohol. She had recently taken her first trip apart from her kids. They are 9 and 6. The more she praised my courage and gumption, the more freakish and unnatural I felt. I felt chastened for being callous and selfish.

I'm guessing the band of acceptable parental attachment is very narrow, noted more in the breach than in the observance. Today Pynchon is too clingy and I'm too detached. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
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Before supper last night, I scooped Miss Baby up into my arms for a snuggle: she smelled .... of daycare workers. I felt as though she were cheating on me. She did not smell like my baby. I begin to understand why baby squirrels fallen from trees are not to be sullied by human hands for fear of maternal abandonment. Smell is primal, and Miss Baby's new scent hit me like a punch in the gut.
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Have a good week everyone! I'll 'see' you when I get back.

19 comments:

kittenpie said...

Have a great trip!

I've had that same thing with the smell. Most of the time, I feel good about leaving her to daycare, where I know they do fun and stimulating things, and she loves her teachers. But sometimes, wehn she comes home smelling like teacher G or teacher N, it smacks me up a bit.

Beck said...

My Baby was held for too long by my mother-in-law tonight and when I got her back, she smelled like patchouli. HEY.
Just for the record, me turning into my mother was a best case scenario. I turned into my dad, which is GALLING.
I've never left my kids overnight unless I was in the hospital, but it doesn't really reflect my maternal devotion as much as my utter lack of responsible adults around me.
HAVE FUN. RELAX.

Mimi said...

Kittenpie: yeah! That's it!

Beck: you have a Charles Darwin beard? I can see why that might upset you ;-)

bubandpie said...

"noted more in the breach than in the observance"

That's such a great phrase. I need to use it more often.

Jenifer said...

Enjoy your trip, there is no normal or acceptable here - just what is best for you and your family and what you want to do! Miss Baby will be fine with your Mom and sister, I promise this will be harder on you guys.

Have a great time though knowing she is bonding and having a blast with her family.

Mimi said...

B&P -- But *where* did I steal it from? I can't remember. I wish it was mine but it was not.

slouching mom said...

"I felt as though she were cheating on me."

I love this, and I know just how you felt.

Lawyer Mama said...

So you get me hooked and then you leave for a week. Clearly you are callous and selfish. LOL!

Thanks for your comments on my blog. Of course, the way to my heart is by complimenting my children!

Enjoy the vacation. I'm incredibly jealous. The hubster and I are *trying* to plan a child free vacation for our anniversary. Wish us luck.

Mad Hatter said...

Have fun.

My husband and I have yet to be alone in the house without Miss M. Frankly, I don't know what we'd do in that situation even though we managed to cope with that as a normal state of affairs for 13 years before Miss M came along. Yup, we've been house-trained too.

Thankfully, this means she still smells right. A little bit of sitter lingers but there is no institutional smell.

Omaha Mama said...

Okay - I've never thought of it as baby squirrels being sullied by human hands, but that is exactly it! You made me laugh. I struggled with Brenna's smell when she started daycare. We went to a home-based with her and so it was the same small. Not bad. Just not me.

I hope your trip is fantastic. Pictures please.

Omaha Mama said...

Oh - and I find it totally unfair that your wedding trip sans baby is in Cuba (how exotic and exciting) and ours is in Wyoming (our friends are getting married on 7/7/7). How 5 hours up the interstate, how Motel 6, how scenic, yet cowboy-esque. I'm just saying.

cinnamon gurl said...

Have a wonderful time! (I probably missed you but we spent last night at the walk-in clinic then drug store with Swee'pea's very first ear infection...)

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

The longer I'm a mom, the more I turn into my own mom. And suddenly that makes sense (I mean my mom makes sense) and begins to seem sensible! Aack!

Have a lovelylovelylovely time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gunfighter said...

Enjoy your vacation.

I'll be reading when you get back.

GF

crazymumma said...

irie. have an awesome time....

Bloor West Mama said...

Have a great time with your husband.

Enjoy the sun and sand.

gingajoy said...

as I type this, you are sunning yourself and quite possibly drunk and satiated with (ehem) other stuff.

you lucky! (well deserved, and hoorah for you!!!!)

(I want to bend your ear when you get back, my lady)

Bon said...

frolic and enjoy, Mimi!

and yes, i turned into my mother when it came to trip prep too. it was quite frightening how she just up and walked straight out of my mouth like a banshee, er, i mean drill sergeant.

:)

ewe are here said...

Ooh! Have a great week in cuba. I've heard it's stunning!
(I'm not allowed to visit until the u.s. policy changes....SIGH)