Wednesday, July 22, 2009

WW: Renovation Insulation

First, move everything in your entire house at least three feet from all exterior walls, without blocking any doors or closets.

Next, drill a MILLION holes along the exterior walls:

Then, fill the holes with insulating goo made from seawater, that comes in a giant hose that runs halfway down the block to a giant truck that makes a noise like a jet all day so that your neighbours start to cast questioning glances at you:

Finally ... write an enormous cheque, but remember the government will reimburse you for about half.

Clean up. Put everything back together and back against the walls where they belong. Retrieve belongings hidden in the attic. Watch hole-patch compound dry and realize it's going to need a sanding and a second coat. Weep into your white wine, but feel smug about your certainly-going-to-be-less-than-last-winter's $300 monthly gas bill. Take a muscle-relaxant and go to bed.


Omaha Mama said...

Wow - that's a lot of holes! You'll have to report back in the winter on how awesome the changes are! :0)

Mimi said...

Oh, it's a TON of holes. I mean, there are 12 holes in our front hall closet. 74 in the living room and over 80 in the master bedroom. 38 in the back stairwell ... it goes on and on. I have a polka dot house now, says Munchkin.

Debbie said...

Holy house batman! (Sorry, lame) Wow. Yes, please let us know how awesome it is in the winter.

This house is certainly a project, isn't it? :)

Kyla said...

I'm very intrigued...our insulation is CRAP and we are certainly feeling it this summer in the 115+ degree weather. I've never seen this kind before!

Janet said...

Um, I don't mean to alarm you but we have twin staircases, complete with accompanying window. Weird.