Family Hug

We are coming into our own as a family, I think, although I may just be feeling cocky because Miss Baby slept all night (!), had a 1h40 nap this morning (!) and another 45 minute one this afternoon (!). Rest-induced giddiness aside, I really do think we're coming into our own as a family. It's all starting to work.

I have my reasons.

1. Sometimes Pynchon and I negotiate who gets to hold the baby. Gets. Until very very recently, it was who had to hold the baby. Now, she snuggles; she charms; she puts her little fingers in my nose, or uses her index finger to touch my little diamond stud earring, her little mouth open, breathing warm baby breath on my face. Or sometimes she just freaks out with happiness, all her little limbs just a-flailin', screeching with the fun of it.

2. Miss Baby often seems very content to be in the same room with either of us, or, preferably, both of us. She watched, rapt, as Pynchon put away groceries and I made falafel, or, earlier, as he read the paper and I hung a print on the wall. She smiles and flails as she catches our eyes: hi mom! hi dad! I'm eating grapes--what are you doing?

3. Our days are starting to follow a standard rhythm, and it's pretty comfortable for all of us, most of the time. Miss Baby has two naps, into which (however brief they might usually be) she settles peacefully, snuggling her doudou. On the room monitor, we can sometimes hear her sucking particularly vigorously on her soother. When she's awake, she's mostly happy. She likes to eat her finger foods. She likes to play with her toys. She likes to be carried to the window, where she can watch the traffic and lay her head on our shoulders, patting our arms. It's kind of pleasant.

4. Our evenings are becoming freer. Tonight, having spent the day together trying to get some work on the house done, we are each getting the time we need: Miss Baby happily talked herself to sleep around 7:20, Pynchon went out to a sports bar to watch the Ultimate Fighting Championship on pay TV, and I'm blogging and lolling on the couch, reading decorating magazines.

5. And last but not least: We have inaugurated the 'family hug', the three of us in a clutch, singing a little song we made up, ending with kisses all 'round. We had been doing it for a while with the sense that Miss Baby was simply tolerating us, but the other day she giggled, and started to 'sing' after we left off, patting our backs in imitation. A family hug.

How mundane it all is! But what a relief after the months of what felt like crisis management, crying management, sleep management, the allotment of sanity-recovery time in one hour portions. We do more together now, and while we are getting more done--more housework, more cooking, more outings, more minor renovations--we are also happier to do less. Just hang out, all together.

Sure, there's lot of annoying stuff, hard stuff, frustrating stuff. But recently, that's not what's uppermost in my mind, it's not what's defining the experience of being three, one of us only 21 pounds. Now I'm tasting a little more of the joy.