Monday, May 05, 2008

"I'm so blogging this"

Saturday night, Munchkin got up five times. You know, just like a newborn, only 31 pounds heavy and full of rage and hollering like a town crier. I settled her at 10:30, then went to bed myself; Pynchon settled her again at 12:40; I found her feverish at 1:30 and gave her a bottle and some medicine and retrieved Pynchon from the basement so he could come to bed with me.

At 3-something she woke up again and I jabbed Pynchon: we were alternating turns, weren't we? Fair's fair, right? He groaned. I poked. He sat up and said something to me. I, with my earplugs in, didn't hear him so I asked him to repeat himself. This is what he said, enunciating clearly in annoyance that I didn't catch it the first time:

"I said: what. is. the. baby's. name."

"Um, Munchkin," I replied, a little taken aback.

Satisfied, he marched off towards the wailing noises issuing from her room. Obviously, he was still asleep. I thought briefly that maybe I should get up and handle it. But then I figured that, having been briefed on her name, and clearly ambulatory, he'd be okay. Right? Right?

Don't worry. I got mine: she got up again just after 5, and once more became my problem. Ah baby whatserface, you're making your parents crazy with sleeplessness ...

13 comments:

cinnamon gurl said...

Ha! When Swee'pea was a newborn and I got my two hours of sleep while Sugar D hung out with him, I was absolutely incoherent... I always thought I had just nursed the baby and couldn't understand why it was my problem that he was crying. When I was reading Harry Potter, one night I thought Swee'pea was Harry Potter and I was trying to coach him or something. The problem with having the baby in the bed is you don't get that few seconds of walking to another room to get your head straight.

Alpha DogMa said...

I can not tell you how many times I have called the children by the dog's name. It's just that I've known her longer.

My kids are sick too. Spring colds are the worst. I hope she feels better.

Karen said...

oh, that is really very funny.

Cloud said...

I think it is wildly unfair that I wake up instantly when Pumpkin cries and Hubby can sometimes sleep through it even with the monitor next to him. Apparently, he incorporates the crying into his dreams. We have had some very strange middle of the night conversations because of this.

And it doesn't help a bit that I know that this hyper-response is probably an adaptive advantage that mothers evolved over millenia.

kittenpie said...

Misterpie has been known to snore right through pumkinpie waking, so I end up with her anyhow, unless I am REALLY determined! But then, by that point, I am half awake anyhow. Thank god we havent' had any illnesses in some time, so I've forgotten for now how far off the rails it can push you! (oh, just wait, kittenpie... just wait)

Assertagirl said...

Ha! I laughed loud enough at this to urge Graham to ask me what I was laughing at. Hope Munchkin is feeling better!

Beck said...

Funny!
I used to have this trippy, sleep-deprived feeling that The Baby - when she was an actual baby - had already nursed and was in fact the three year old Boy and what did she think she was doing?
Yeah, I needed more sleep.

Omaha Mama said...

I've sat up in bed (more than once) from a deep sleep, patting around under the covers for the children. That's where our dog sleeps and I was sure we had smothered a baby. I've also gotten up, from a deep sleep, and walked around the room, wondering where I put the baby. Also, had to wake myself and go check because I was sure I had forgotten to put the baby in his/her crib. It's gotten better since they don't nurse. But there was a period in time when Hubs thought I was surely losing it.

Jenifer said...

That is too funny, hope Munchkin is feeling better. Those night screams always mean an ear infection in my house.

Kyla said...

Hahaha! Once, the the midst of early sleep deprivation with BubTar, I attempted to nurse a teddy bear, FULLY believing it was BubTar, when he wouldn't latch, I carried him back to his bed and was SHOCKED to see BubTar already lying in the crib. Then I looked down, thinking "Whose baby do I have in my arms then?!" and realized it was a teddy bear. Ahhh, sleep deprivation. It's a wonder we survive at all.

the new girl said...

Oooh boy.

That is some funny stuf right there.

Since he'd been briefed on the baby's name and was clearly ambulatory...

Still laughing.

NotSoSage said...

Oh, I have lived that kind of tired.

Poor baby whatserface's parents.

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