Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Wild and wacky stuff!

Ow! Her Bad Mother just whacked me on the forehead with the meme stick, so now I'm compelled to tell you six weird things about me, if the concussion hasn't wiped my memory clean.

Um, where were we?

Oh. Right. Six weird things. This is surprisingly easy. Uh-oh.

1. I have been struck by lightning. Yes, that's right. The year was 1995. The location? York University. In the midst of a massive rainstorm Vampire me and Goth boyfriend were tussling over our (obviously) giant, black, Victorian style umbrella--the kind with a big long metal spike sticking out the top, kind of like, oh, I don't know, a lightning rod--when we ducked under the metal staircase at the back entrance of Curtis Lecture Hall when GRZZZZZTTZZAPP! Big blue flash of light, umbrella suddenly twenty feet away, boyfriend and self uncharacteristically circumspect and very hungry. Twenty minutes later, over panzerotto in York Lanes, we deduce that numb hands and foggy brains and, um, big blue flash and crashing noises indicated likely lightning ricochet. At least it hit the staircase first, right?

2. I appeared in an episode of Kids in the Hall. Still at York. I have an agent, and I go work occasionally as an extra. This story could be about how I played a (non-speaking) drug dealer on Top Cops, but Kids in the Hall is much cooler, non? Anyhow. Kids in the Hall. Filmed at dawn at an outdoor cafe somewhere in Rosedale. It's the 'short' where Bruce McCullough is playing a wannabe film director trying to impress a girl, and the film within a film shows two people who might meet, but never do, and Bruce-the-Character laments to the girl that he really needs a crane shot to do it right, as a crane shot pulls back on the cafe. I'm the Goth in the Siouxsie and the Banshees shirt 'drinking' and 'eating' directly behind Bruce. I saw the episode at 2am on CBS about a year later, at my summer job working nights at a group home for developmentally handicapped adults. I was folding laundry and watching TV and then I was all, "Hey, is that me on TV? Huh."

3. I have a club foot. Yup. Byron has a club foot and I was an adult before I knew that. (Q: How many English degrees do you need to get before you discover a canonical poet has the same birth defect as you? A: Three.) An evil dude in The Birth of a Nation has a club foot (Thaddeus?). And David Lynch. And Josef Goebbels. And Dudley Moore. My people, well, the world might be better off without us. Except maybe for Byron. I'm just saying. Anyhow. If you look closely (and past the swelling), you can see that left foot and right foot might as well be from different people, for all they resemble each other. And they're different sizes. Left foot: size 9. Right foot: size 7.5. Weird, eh? I mostly can't wear open toes or really delicate slip ons. Mary Janes are my friends. Boots, even better. But you'd be surprised. Also, my calves are different sizes, and my right leg has a kind of sloppy scar from the (mangled-ish) ankle-bone up to the widest part of my calf. But surprisingly few people ever notice this. This is how I learned the difference between right and left as a child: right side is small-foot side. Beat that for a mnemonic.

4. Everything--everything--makes me queasy. I get motion sickness watching Pynchon spin Miss Baby in his arms. I get motion sickness looking down to do up my seatbelt in the car. Boats? Only the horizon line is my friend. I have to sit at the front of the bus: back is burfy. And I have to face the front on the subway. Always. I will never be an astronaut.

5. I made a Cabbage Patch doll. In enrichment class. Ah, northern Ontario. So pedagogically advanced, so rich in resources for the nurturing of 'gifted' children. My fellow girl-nerds and I, from grade four to grade seven, suffered a once-every-eight-days course of enrichment sewing. I mean, Cabbage Patch dolls were all the rage. But enrichment sewing? (The boys did enrichment shop, if you were wondering.)

6. I once wrote a word processing program from scratch in BASIC. This was in high school. I was the only girl in grade 12 computer programming. Everyone else made video games, and I wrote a program that let you enter text, create and rename files, do find/replace on words or phrases, and print stuff. Seriously. I was a writer masquerading as a programmer. If we'd had the Internet, maybe I'd've programmed a blogging application :-)

7. I put sugar on my peanut butter toast. People tell me this is weird, but I find it tasty.

14. I hold myself accountable to my inner six year old. That is, I have a very clear image of myself and what I wanted at that age for myself when I became this age: in a lot of ways, six-year-old Mimi is my WWJD? Do other people do this? Think of themselves at a younger age, in the third person? As a going concern?

Phew. I'm going to tag Not So Sage, who, having eloquently described for us what is 'normal', will surely be up to the task of 'weird.' I'm also going to tag Jenifer G. at Rosebud and Papoosie Girl, because I want to know what lies under that so-reasonable demeanor ...


Jenifer G. said...

Ahhh these things scare meeeeeee. Everyone has already taken the "good" answers.

OK. Meme number two is in the works I promise. Only because you buttered me up a bit.

I have just done another quick catch-up and really do enjoy your writing and hearing about your family. I wish I had more time to read...

I am closing in on 36 next week so I guess we share close b-days. Hope yours was a good one! The post about "recovering" your evening was great. I can stay in the cranky zone and need a lot of prodding to get out. I did read the comments too and am glad I am not the only one.

The Poop post was classic I laughed when I saw the onesie, Mac is a religion for my hubby (we sit across from one another on our iBooks right now) no joke.

So now to tomorrow. We will see about that "reasonable demeanor" of mine.

Mad Hatter said...

Blam! Is this supposed to be one of those "6 weird things you don't already know about me" memes? If so, you are totally busted. I knew at least half.

It's hard to have meme integrity in the blogosphere when you have an old friend biting at your ankles with every post, n'est pas.

Good choices, Mimi. The classic stories never grow old. And to the rest of your readers I would say, "yes, this gal truly is Byronic."

Beck said...

Northern Ontario, eh? My kids' school is, um, not any better at all. There are no gifted resources any longer, so sewing Cabbage Patch dolls sounds like a bit improvement over what there currently is - seriously, last year, The Girl's teacher told me that maybe she should try learning not so fast, because she didn't have time to teach just her.

Karen said...

My grandmother made my sisters and me several handsewn cabbage patch dolls, she also made my mother's wedding gown, all our Easter outfits for the first 8 years of our lives and my bridesmaid dresses, but I'm still thanking her for Melinda Ellen, my auburn haired doll.

NotSoSage said...

First of all, how jealous am I that you were in a KitH episode!

Our enrichment program didn't include home-ec, that was left to our regular class time. In fact, my school was pretty good about gender equity stuff, considering that it was a Catholic school.

Oh, shoot. Six weird things about me that people don't already know. I'm up for it, but I may need some help on this...I'll ask Joe what he thinks. People tend to think I'm weird, but I have a feeling that most people I know in the blogosphere won't necessarily agree.

nomotherearth said...

I only did enrichment english. We had to read a Dickens novel (Oliver) over the Christmas break. Yuck. Now, had I known there was such a class as enrichment sewing...well, I might be better off today. All I can do now is sew on buttons and fix holes in clothes

Beck said...

I cracked your geographical code on my site, and hey, we have friends living in your hometown! I like the dollar movie theater downtown. I lived in North Bay for a while when I was first married, but it was, um, too urban for us.

gingajoy said...

hi! well blow me down I've found my clubfooted doppelganger. (your "About Me" could easily be on my page!) And a non puker to boot. That must suck with all that nausea (oh. and I hear you on the "laundry" issue with salmonella. amazing how all semblance of self-respect and hygeine goes to pot, isn't it?)

Do you have red hair and a big bum, by chance? Because that would be just creepy.

i'll definitely be back. and yes, you are first up if and when i need a boob-spraying sidekick.

NotSoSage said...


Beck said...

Um, two words. First word, first letter "N", second word, first letter "L"?

Mimi said...

Beck -- close. I used to play vball there in tourneys in high school. You're 80km off ...

Gingajoy -- club foot? You too? it must be fate that's bringing us together now. And for the record, I have blonde hair and a big bum.

NoMo -- the sad thing is, none of my enrichment sewing seems to have enriched my sewing. I even contract out button replacement to professionals. how lame is that?

Sage -- teehee. i'm absurdly proud of my brush with CanCon greatness. Um, and Scott Thompson sat two rows in front of me at Beavis and Butthead, The Movie

Mad -- no fair! at least you can verify that I'm not making stuff up (or have been making it up for 10 years ...)

Jenifer G -- i'm waaaaaaiting ;-)

Karen -- 'claudine melina' was my doll's name. you never forget, eh?

Her Bad Mother said...

Kids In The Hall?!?!? You've got me beat on the 'I was almost a celeburdy' front. Waaay cooler than Spanish infomercials.

Her Bad Mother said...

And, omg, sugar on peanut butter toast... yessss!!!!

Mimi said...

HBM: >>sob<< I thought I was the only one! Double-dipping on the sugar front! I think it's my French-Canadian side, because my mom tells me that when she was really good as a child, she got a treat from her mom: white bread + slice of butter + sprinkled chunk of brown sugar.

Alpha DogMa said...

I'm tracking this meme in reverse, as you tagged NotSoSage, who tagged me. And my offering sucks. Yours is excellent. Can I go back and redo mine and steal all your much cooler revelations.
Ooh, KiTH! I loved them and am so jealous. I do a great impression of the Chicken Lady! I'm watching Studio 60 in part to support Mark McKinney. That is all for my non-sequiters.

cinnamon gurl said...

OMG you are officially the coolest person ever for having appeared in Kids in the Hall. I am SO jealous.